Copy and Paste

Flashback to when I wasn't sweating sitting still. When I didn't have two huge pimples on my face. When I wasn't posting stories with my cellulite for the world to see. And I wasn't receiving Rates Notices in my email inbox.

I was in Tasmania the last time I launched the Real Life Reset. The very first launch. The tech and emails was a mess, the waitlist was pumping, the internet was glitchy on a travel day, yet my heart was bursting with the women who were jumping in.

And as I strap in for the first official round, with the additions and feedback taken on from our wonderful Foundation members, I have spent the day running classes, dancing to release anxious energy, alone and lonely, and napping.

I should be blogging this, but instead I am here on Facebook. (AND HERE I AM COPY AND PASTING INTO THE BLOG, BECAUSE #WHYNOT?) I think when we don't schedule something in, it doesn't happen. I wanted to blog once a week, because writing brings me clarity and joy and it is how I express. Messily, truthfully, from the depths of my soul.

And sometimes we wait for the perfect time, or the opportunity to fall into our lap, but without a schedule, or a plan, we blink and we miss it.

We sign up for the gym, and we don't go because there isn't a "set time."

We want to have more s3x with our partners, but it doesn't happen "spontaneously" juggling kids and work and feeling exhausted AF, so we feel disconnected and our relationship becomes fractured and it gets harder to just do the damn thing. We scroll for hours before bed instead of just saying okay, let's start.

We think "scheduling" means we are forcing it, but maybe it comes down to the Law of the Vacuum. If it isn't scheduled, life and distractions and bad habits just sucks the time away. And before we know it, our days and our lives are filled with things that drain us, exhaust us, leave us empty and disconnected.

We need to make sure we are choosing to invest, to schedule, to commit to the things that bring us joy, that fulfil us, that add to our lives... otherwise everything just takes away instead.

We end up settling, and surviving. We end up numbing out and disassociating and counting down and saying we "should have done that" or "could have done that" or "it's too late".

We're wasting our days away, because why?

Because we aren't willing to schedule? We aren't willing to make it happen. Heaven forbid we actually have to work for it, or make a change, or keep a promise to ourselves.

We want it to all just land in our laps, and get the results without effort.

We expect to live in an exhausted daze and hope that we can click our fingers and all will be better, that we will have more time, that we will feel more connected and stop fighting with our partner, that we will have more energy and patience, so we will stop snapping at the kids, that we will lose weight and get fit and eat well...

We want all these goals...we want all the things.... we wish for change... but we do sweet FA about the behaviours and habits and that "vacuum"? Sucks all opportunities away without even realising.

You are living on empty and auto pilot, feeling more disassociated than ever. Your life doesn't match what is important to you. You don't feel good, yet you keep finding excuses why you can't feel good. You default to the "I can't" or "I don't have..."... instead of choosing to open yourself to possibilities, to what you value, to what you need, what could be the gift that changes everything, if you are willing to get out of your own way.

And yeah, I know it is easier said than done. I have spent years in darkness, in self sabotage, in "knowing better" but not able to "do better."

But the only way you get out of that mess is to keep showing up even when you don't believe you can, even when you question whether you will fit in, or you will belong, or if it's right for you. Showing up when you feel the pull, the "I need this" and not letting excuses or your mind talk yourself out of it, or undervalue your worth and what you deserve. It is showing up even when you might have crushed hope, and you've pretty much given up on yourself.

It's having the time of the call, the time of the gym session, the time you have s3x, or the time you meal prep, or the time you sit down and organise yourself, so it doesn't get lost in space. So you aren't wondering where you time went, and complaining you don't have any.

Life can be overwhelming and confusing and the standard society response is "tired and busy". We have accepted this as the standard, the norm. But damn if I am going to accept that as normal. It doesn't have to be. You aren't a hero if you are busy all the time. You don't have to wear exhausted like a badge. You don't have to swallow your emotions, your needs, your own worth, simply to please everyone else.

But you do have to stop avoiding yourself. Your own thoughts. Your own bullsh!t stories that you have accepted and settled for.

You do need to take responsibility for your behaviour instead of just saying you want this, this and this, and expecting a miracle.

People are scared to take responsibility, because when they look at how they have contributed to their own suffering, they fall into shame and self loathing and yeah, it can get harder before it gets better.

But are you willing to settle? Is this how you want to feel every day for the rest of your life? Just getting through? Not even knowing what makes you feel good anymore? Not even knowing who you are? And having zero boundaries towards how people treat you, speak to you, and expect from you?

The money and time is not the question.

It's the self worth piece. And whether you are willing to settle, or whether you are going to say, nah this isn't good enough for me anymore, and I am allowed to want better.

Because just as we can talk ourselves out of something, we can sure talk ourselves into something.

But notice where your default goes to. Because it is a lot easier to find evidence to keep ourselves stuck and "comfortable" than move towards the unknown.

Let me know if you read this far! And share what is on your heart x

If you are ready to stop making excuses, and start taking your power back, the Real Life Reset is opening soon.